Couples Counselling in Surrey and Online

How Can Couples Counselling Be Helpful?
Should I Try Couples Counselling in Surrey?

Couples counselling, also known as couples therapy, is a type of therapy that helps couples improve their relationship and resolve conflicts. Couples counselling can be helpful in a variety of ways, including:

  • Improving Communication: Couples counselling can help couples learn new communication skills and improve their ability to understand and express their thoughts and feelings. This can lead to a deeper understanding of each other and a reduction in conflict.

  • Resolving Conflicts: Couples counselling can help couples identify the underlying issues causing conflicts and develop strategies for addressing them. This can lead to a reduction in the frequency and intensity of conflicts and an improvement in the overall quality of the relationship.

  • Building Intimacy: Couples counselling can help couples reconnect emotionally and build intimacy in their relationship.

  • Addressing Specific Issues: Couples counselling can help couples address specific issues, such as infidelity, financial problems, or issues related to parenting

    • Addressing Financial Problems: Couples counselling can help couples develop a plan to address financial problems, which can be a major source of stress in a relationship.

  • Addressing Intimacy Issues: Couples counselling can help couples who feel emotionally disconnected reconnect and build intimacy.

  • Financial Problems: If financial problems are causing stress in your relationship, couples counselling can help you and your partner develop a plan to address them.

  • Navigating Life Changes: Couples counselling can help couples navigate major life changes such as the birth of a child, retirement, or a major move and maintain a healthy relationship.

  • Rebuilding Trust: If infidelity has occurred in a relationship, couples counselling can help couples work through the emotional fallout and rebuild trust. This can lead to a restoration of intimacy and a deeper sense of connection.

  • Improving Relationship Satisfaction: Couples counselling can help couples improve their overall relationship satisfaction, which can lead to a happier and more fulfilling relationship.

  • Maintaining a Healthy Relationship: Couples counselling can be beneficial even when things are going well, to proactively address any potential issues and maintain a healthy relationship.

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Couples counselling can also be beneficial for individuals, as it can help individuals understand their own role in the relationship and develop strategies for addressing personal issues that may be impacting the relationship. The tools and strategies provided in couples counselling can improve the health and longevity of a relationship.

It's important to remember that it's not necessary to wait for a crisis or a major problem to arise before seeking couples counselling. In fact, it can be beneficial to seek counselling even when things are going well to proactively address any potential issues and maintain a healthy relationship.

How Does Couples Counselling in Surrey Work?

Couples counselling typically involves meeting with a trained therapist on a regular basis, usually once a week. The therapist will work with both partners to help them improve their relationship and resolve any conflicts.

During the sessions, the therapist will typically use a variety of techniques and approaches to help couples improve their communication and resolve conflicts. This may include:

  • Active Listening: The therapist will encourage both partners to actively listen to one another and try to understand each other's perspectives.

  • Reflective Statements: The therapist will reflect back to the couples what they are saying to help them understand and process their feelings

  • Problem-Solving: The therapist will help couples identify the specific issues that are causing problems in their relationship, and then work with them to find ways to resolve these issues.

  • Behavioural Techniques: The therapist may also teach couples specific techniques for improving their communication and building intimacy, such as active listening, empathy, and positive reinforcement.

  • Mindfulness and Self-Reflection: The therapist may also teach couples mindfulness and self-reflection techniques to help them stay present in the moment and be more aware of their own emotions and thoughts.

It is important to note that couples therapy is not a one-size-fits-all solution and the approach and techniques used will depend on the specific needs and concerns of the couple. The therapist will adjust the therapy according to the couple's needs and goals.

Couples therapy can take a few sessions to several months to complete, depending on the complexity of the issues and the progress made by the couple.

What To Expect In Couples Counselling?

During couples counselling in Surrey or online, you can expect to:

  • Meet With A Therapist: You and your partner will meet with a trained therapist, usually
    oncea week. The therapist will be a neutral third party who will help you and your
    partner improve your relationship and resolve any conflicts.

  • Discuss Your Concerns: The therapist will encourage you and your partner to discuss
    the issues that are causing problems in your relationship. This may include things like
    communication problems, lack of intimacy, or specific issues such as infidelity or
    financial problems.

  • Learn New Communication and Problem-Solving Skills: The therapist will teach you
    and your partner new communication and problem-solving skills that can help you
    improve your relationship. This may include things like active listening, empathy, and
    positive reinforcement.

  • Reflect On Your Individual Behaviours and Emotions: You and your partner will also
    reflect on your individual behaviours and emotions, and how they contribute to the
    issues in the relationship.

  • Set Goals: The therapist will help you and your partner set goals for your
    relationship, and work with you to achieve them.

  • Homework: The therapist may also assign homework for you and your partner
    to work on between sessions.

It's important to note that couples counselling is a collaborative process and
requires the active participation and commitment of both partners. It's also
important to have realistic expectations and understand that resolving issues
and improving relationships take time and effort.

It's also important to remember that counselling is a confidential process and
what you share with the therapist will be kept private.

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Who Should Go To Couples Counselling?

Couples counselling can be beneficial for couples of all types, including:

  • Married Couples: Couples who are married or in long-term committed relationships may seek counselling to address issues that have arisen in their relationship, or to maintain and strengthen their relationship.

  • Same-Sex couples: Same-sex couples may face unique challenges and may benefit from couples counselling to address these issues.

  • Dating Couples: Couples who are dating or in new relationships may also benefit from couples counselling to help them build a strong foundation for their relationship.

  • Couples With Children: Couples with children may seek counselling to address parenting or co-parenting issues and to maintain a healthy relationship while raising a family.

  • Couples Experiencing Infidelity: Couples who have experienced infidelity may seek counselling to help them work through the emotional fallout and rebuild trust.

  • Couples Experiencing Financial Problems: Couples experiencing financial problems may seek counselling to help them work through the financial issues and maintain a healthy relationship.

It's important to remember that couples counselling is not just for couples experiencing serious problems. Couples counselling can also be beneficial for couples who are looking to maintain a healthy relationship, or to proactively address any potential issues.

It's important to note that couples counselling should be done by both partners, if one is unwilling to participate it's probably not the best time for couples counselling.

How Do You Choose an Online or Surrey Couples Counsellor?

When choosing a couples counsellor, it's important to take the following factors into consideration:

  • Training and Credentials: Look for a therapist who is trained and licensed in couples counselling. Credentials such as a Masters of Arts in Counselling (MA), a Masters in Counselling (MCP) or Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy (MFT). The titles Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) from the BCACC or a Canadian Certified Counsellor (CCC) from the CCPA are good indicators that the therapist has the necessary training and qualifications to work with couples.

  • Experience: Look for a therapist who has experience working with couples. Ask the therapist about their experience and expertise in working with couples and the specific issues you are facing.

  • Training - some of the most effective approaches to couples therapy include:

  • ​​Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) 

  • Gottman Method

  • Narrative Therapy

  • Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) 

  • Compatibility: It's important to find a therapist with whom you feel comfortable and able to trust. This can be achieved by doing an initial consultation with the therapist, where you have an opportunity to ask questions and get a sense of the therapist's style and approach to counselling.

  • Location and Availability: Consider the location and availability of the therapist. It's important to choose a therapist who is conveniently located and has availability that works for you and your partner.

  • Cost: Consider the cost of therapy and whether it is covered by your insurance. Many insurance plans will cover couples counselling, but it's important to check with your insurance provider to see if there are any restrictions or requirements.

  • Referrals: Ask for referrals from friends, family or your primary care doctor. They might have a therapist to recommend that they trust.

It's important to remember that the most important factor in choosing a couples counsellor is finding a therapist who is a good fit for you and your partner and with whom you feel comfortable. It may take some time to find the right therapist, but it's worth the effort to find someone who can help you and your partner improve your relationship.

What Is Trauma-Informed Couples Counselling?

Trauma-informed couples counselling is a type of couples counselling that takes into account the impact of past traumas on the relationship. Trauma can include events such as physical or emotional abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, or exposure to violence. Trauma can also include experiences such as a serious illness or accident, the loss of a loved one, or a natural disaster.

A trauma-informed approach to couples counselling recognizes that trauma can affect how individuals interact with their partners and can lead to difficulties in communication, trust, and intimacy. It also recognizes that individuals may have different coping mechanisms and reactions to trauma.

A trauma-informed couples counsellor will work with both partners to understand the impact of past traumas on the relationship and develop strategies to address these issues. This may include helping couples to understand how past traumas have affected their communication, trust, and intimacy and teaching couples new communication skills that take into account the impact of trauma.

The trauma-informed approach also values safety and respect, the therapist will create a safe space for both partners to talk about their experiences without fear of judgment or retraumatization.

Trauma-informed couples counselling can be beneficial for individuals and couples who have experienced trauma and are struggling to maintain a healthy relationship. It can also be beneficial for couples who are not aware of the impact of past traumas on their relationship but are experiencing communication, trust, and intimacy issues.

It's important to note that not all therapists are trained in trauma-informed couples counselling, so it might be important to find a therapist who has experience working with trauma and is trained in this approach.

What Is Attachment-Based Couples Counselling?

Attachment-based couples counselling is a type of couples counselling that focuses on the emotional bond between partners, known as attachment. Attachment is the emotional bond that forms between infants and their primary caregivers, and it lays the foundation for all future relationships.

Attachment-based couples counselling posits that the emotional bond between partners is an important aspect of a healthy relationship, and that issues in the relationship can often be traced back to difficulties in the attachment bond. Attachment-based couples counselling focuses on helping couples understand and improve their attachment bond.

During an attachment-based couples counselling session, the therapist will help couples explore the emotional bond between them, and how it has been impacted by past experiences, relationship patterns, and current behaviours. The therapist will work with couples to understand how their attachment bond shapes their feelings, thoughts, and behaviours in the relationship.

Attachment-based couples counselling may also involve teaching couples new communication skills, and helping them to understand the role that attachment plays in their relationship. The therapist may also help couples explore and understand any underlying issues that may be impacting their attachment bond, such as unresolved conflicts, trust issues, or past traumas.

Attachment-based couples counselling can be beneficial for couples who are experiencing issues related to trust, communication, or intimacy in their relationship. It can also be beneficial for couples who are not aware of the role that attachment plays in their relationship but are experiencing issues.

It's important to note that not all therapists are trained in attachment-based couples counselling, so it might be important to find a therapist who has experience working with attachment theory and is trained in this approach.

What Is Somatic Couples Counselling?

Somatic couples counselling is a type of couples counselling that focuses on the connection between the mind and body. It is based on the idea that emotional experiences are stored in the body and that physical sensations, movements, and feelings can provide insight into emotional experiences.

During somatic couples counselling, the therapist will help couples explore their physical sensations and movements in addition to their thoughts and feelings. This can include exercises such as mindfulness, breath work, and body awareness exercises. The therapist may also use techniques such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) to help couples process past traumas that may be impacting the relationship.

Somatic couples counselling also focuses on helping couples understand how their past experiences and traumas affect their present behaviour and relationship. The therapist may help couples to understand how past traumas and experiences may be impacting the way they relate to each other, how they communicate, and how they experience intimacy.

Somatic couples counselling can be beneficial for couples who are experiencing issues related to communication, trust, or intimacy in their relationship. It can also be beneficial for couples who are not aware of the role that past traumas and experiences play in their relationship but are experiencing issues.

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How Has COVID Impacted Couples?

The COVID-19 pandemic has had a significant impact on couples. Here are a few ways that the pandemic has affected couples:

1. Increased Stress and Anxiety: The pandemic has led to increased stress and anxiety for many people, and this can put a strain on relationships.

2. Social Isolation: Restrictions on travel and gatherings have resulted in increased social isolation for many couples, which can contribute to feelings of loneliness and isolation.

3. Economic Stress: The pandemic has resulted in widespread job loss and financial insecurity, which can lead to increased stress and anxiety in relationships.

4. Disruption of Daily Life: The pandemic has disrupted daily routines and routines for many couples, which can lead to feelings of uncertainty and loss of control in relationships.

5. Increased Time Spent Together: The pandemic has resulted in many couples spending more time together than usual, which can lead to increased stress and tension in relationships if couples are not used to spending so much time together.

6. Health-Related Stress: The pandemic has increased stress related to health, especially for those who have contracted the virus or have loved ones who have contracted it, and this can also affect the relationship.

7. Trauma-Related Stress: The pandemic has been a traumatic event for many people, and trauma can have a wide range of effects on mental health, leading to increased stress levels, which can affect the relationship.

It's important to note that the pandemic has affected each couple differently and that the impact of the pandemic on a relationship can depend on a variety of factors, such as the couple's pre-existing dynamics, communication style, and coping mechanisms. It is important for couples to talk openly about their feelings and concerns and to seek support if needed, this can include therapy or counselling for couples, as well as individual therapy.

Several of our therapists are trained in the most researched and proven methods in bringing couples back to a place of intimacy and connection including Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) and The Gottman Method.

You can view our team members or contact us and our team will connect you with the best couples counsellor for you. All of our therapists offer free 15 minute consultation calls (or video meetings) so you can assess whether you feel that counsellor will be the right person to help you repair your relationship.

If you are considering counselling, we encourage you to try a free consultation call with one or more of our team members who specialize in couples therapy.