Is It Time to Change Therapists? How to Know When to Start Fresh
Sometimes it’s not working—and that’s worth listening to.
Maybe your therapist is kind but the sessions feel aimless. Maybe you leave feeling just as disconnected as when you arrived. Or maybe something deeper is stirring in you: I think I need a different kind of help.
If therapy feels stuck, stale, or subtly unsafe, it’s okay to explore other options.
At Tidal Trauma Centre, we help people across Surrey, Langley, and throughout BC navigate these very questions. Therapy is about relationship—and it’s not selfish to want that fit between you and your therapist to feel right in your nervous system, not just in your mind.
Signs It Might Be Time to Change Therapists
The right therapist should help you feel safe enough to go deeper and supported enough to take risks. If therapy feels like another performance, a confusing relationship, or something you dread—those are signs to pay attention to.
Here are common red flags that it might be time to make a change:
You feel stuck in sessions without new insight, relief, or tools
You find yourself holding back, masking, or people-pleasing in therapy
Your therapist talks too much, or seems emotionally checked out
You’re not working on what actually brought you to therapy
You leave sessions more dysregulated or dismissed than grounded or empowered
These aren’t personal flaws or “therapy resistance”—they’re nervous system cues that the relationship may not be a fit.
Why So Many People Stay Too Long
Even when therapy doesn’t feel good, many clients stay for months (or even years) out of:
Guilt or loyalty: “They’re nice. I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”
Self-doubt: “Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough.”
Fear of starting over: “I don’t want to explain everything again.”
Uncertainty: “How do I even know if this isn’t working?”
You’re not alone. Therapy is relational—and like any relationship, it’s hard to leave when there’s confusion or caretaking in the mix. But your healing deserves more than politeness. It deserves clarity and resonance.
When You Shouldn’t Wait Any Longer
Some situations call for urgent re-evaluation, especially if:
You feel retraumatized in session
Your therapist makes jokes at your expense or crosses boundaries
You’ve brought up concerns and they’ve been dismissed
The therapeutic space feels unsafe, shaming, or destabilizing
You don’t need to wait for permission to move on. You’re allowed to honour your inner knowing.
How to Choose a Therapist Who’s a Better Fit
A good therapeutic fit isn’t just about credentials—it’s about the feeling of being emotionally met.
Whether you’re looking for a Surrey counsellor for in-person support, or want a Langley counselling option close to home, here’s what to look for:
A therapist trained in modalities aligned with your goals: IFS, EMDR, Somatic Therapy, AEDP, or attachment-based approaches
Someone who feels grounded, present, and emotionally available
A pace that respects your readiness—not too fast, not too passive
Clear communication, collaboration, and consent in the process
A willingness to check in on the relationship and respond to feedback
We’ve written a full Client Guide to Consult Calls to help you navigate these first conversations.
We See This All the Time in Surrey and Langley
Many of our clients come to us after working with other therapists—sometimes for years.
They arrive saying things like:
“It was helpful... but not deep enough.”
“I didn’t realize how much better it could feel.”
“I never felt safe enough to say the real thing.”
Whether you’re looking for in-person counselling in Surrey, a nearby Langley counsellor, or online therapy across BC, we’re here to help you experience something different—something that works.
FAQs: Changing Therapists
Is it common to switch therapists?
Yes. Many people work with multiple therapists over time. As your needs evolve, your support system may need to evolve too.
Will I have to re-tell my whole story if I start with someone new?
Not necessarily. Many therapists trained in somatic, IFS, or AEDP approaches can help you begin without having to rehash everything upfront.
How do I know if the new therapist is working for me?
You may notice small but meaningful shifts: more honesty in the room, more regulation in your body, or more alignment with your goals.
Can therapy actually feel good?
Yes. It can feel safe, connected, and even relieving. That doesn’t mean it’s always easy—but it shouldn’t feel like suffering.
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You Deserve to Feel Seen
The first therapist you work with doesn’t have to be your last.
Your needs are valid. Your healing is allowed to change shape. Your story deserves a space that feels respectful, relational, and real.
We offer counselling in Surrey, serve clients from Langley and surrounding areas, and provide online therapy throughout British Columbia.
Book a consult or reach out through our intake form. Let’s find the right fit—together.