Counselling for Grief and Loss in Surrey

Person in visible distress being gently comforted by another’s hand on their shoulder, symbolizing the emotional weight of grief and the importance of compassionate support

When Grief Doesn’t Look How You Thought It Would

You find yourself rereading the same sentence over and over.
You walk into a room and forget why you came.
You smile at someone in public, then wonder how they’re moving so easily through the day when your world just changed.

Grief doesn’t follow a script. It doesn’t arrive in a single moment or resolve on a clear timeline.

It can be quiet or consuming. It can show up as tears, numbness, fatigue, irritability, or complete disconnection. Sometimes, it doesn’t even feel like grief, until weeks or months later when something small cracks open the grief you hadn’t yet named.

Whether you're mourning the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, an estrangement, a medical diagnosis, or the future you thought you were building, grief is real. And you don’t have to carry it alone.

What Makes Grief So Complex

We live in a world that often rushes grief. You might hear things like:

“At least they’re in a better place.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“It’s been months, aren’t you over it yet?”

But grief isn’t something you get over. It’s something you live with.

Sometimes, the loss is obvious. Sometimes it’s harder to name like when you lose a sense of identity, safety, family belonging, or spiritual connection.

This kind of grief often called ambiguous loss can be especially disorienting because there’s no clear ritual, no obituary, no social script. You may feel invisible in your grief, unsure whether it even “counts.” It does.

Whether the loss is recent or long ago, visible or hidden, grief therapy offers space to bring it into the light.

How Therapy Supports the Grieving Process

Grief counselling is not about pushing you to move on. It’s about helping your system soften into the reality of loss, at a pace that feels safe and supported.

At Tidal Trauma Centre, our therapists meet you where you are, whether your grief is fresh, complicated, or quietly lingering beneath the surface.

Here’s what therapy might offer:

A Space to Be With What’s Real

You don’t need to justify your emotions or have the “right” kind of grief. In therapy, we make space for the full range of feelings: sadness, anger, numbness, relief, confusion without judgment or timeline.

Support for Grief that Feels Traumatic

Some losses are sudden, violent, or complex like an overdose, accident, suicide, or estrangement. You may be navigating not only grief but also trauma responses like hypervigilance, flashbacks, or dissociation. Our trauma therapists are trained to hold both, integrating somatic approaches and nervous system care.

Naming the Invisible Griefs

Grief doesn’t always come with a funeral. Therapy can help name and honour the losses that are harder to articulate, whether that’s a chronic illness diagnosis, infertility, a lost friendship, or spiritual deconstruction.

Making Meaning Without Pressure

You don’t have to find a silver lining. But many people eventually begin asking: What now? Who am I in the wake of this loss? We walk with you through those questions, not with answers, but with curiosity and care.

Nervous System Regulation and Coping Tools

Grief lives in the body. Therapy can support you in noticing and working with somatic cues like chest tightness, fatigue, or numbness. Together, we might use grounding, movement, breathwork, or journaling, not to “fix” grief, but to help you stay connected to yourself inside it.

When Grief and Trauma Intersect

Grief becomes even more complex when trauma is involved.

Maybe your loss was traumatic in nature.
Maybe it reopened wounds from earlier in life.
Maybe your grief has been complicated by abuse, addiction, neglect, or family systems that never made space for your emotions.

In these cases, therapy offers more than grief support, it offers relational repair, co-regulation, and rebuilding of trust in your own body and emotions. This kind of deep work can’t be rushed. But it can be held, gently and skillfully.

You Don’t Have to Hold This Alone

Grief is not a sign that something’s wrong, it’s a sign that something mattered. If you’re carrying a loss that feels too big, too complex, or too invisible, therapy can offer space to be with it, safely, slowly, and in connection.

Contact us or fill out a New Client Form to be matched with one of our therapists.
If you’re ready, book a free consult or appointment.

  • Not at all. Grief can come from many sources: the loss of a relationship, community, health, career, or identity. If something feels missing, changed, or painful, your grief matters, and therapy can help.

  • That’s okay. Numbness is a valid grief response and often a nervous system adaptation to pain. Therapy can help you reconnect to your emotions without flooding or pressure.

  • Friends may care, but they’re often uncomfortable with deep grief. Therapy gives you a space where you’re not responsible for anyone else’s feelings, a space where your grief can just be.

  • You don’t have to be. Therapy can start wherever you are, even if words aren’t available. Somatic and trauma-informed approaches honour your pace, and offer options beyond conversation, like grounding, visualization, or body awareness.

Disclaimer: The content on this website is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or mental health advice. It is not a substitute for professional care. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for diagnosis and treatment.
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