Healing After a Hard Childhood: How Trauma Therapy Helps with ACEs

Person looking out a window, wrapped in a blanket reflecting quiet strength and healing.

You didn’t choose what happened, but you can choose what happens next.

Not everyone grows up in an environment that feels safe, consistent, or loving. If your childhood included experiences that left you overwhelmed, unseen, or in survival mode, you may still be feeling the echoes of those early years. These experiences are often called Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and their impact can shape your nervous system, your relationships, your sense of identity, and your capacity to feel safe in your own body.

Even if you’ve built a functional adult life, you may find yourself asking:

Why do I still feel this way?

The truth is, ACEs can leave lasting imprints. But with the right support, healing is not only possible, it’s your birthright.

At Tidal Trauma Centre, we support individuals across British Columbia through online trauma therapy that is gentle, grounded, and tailored to each client’s story. Whether you’re just beginning to explore the effects of your past, or you’ve tried therapy before and want something deeper, this guide offers insight into what ACEs are, how they can affect your adult life, and how therapy can support you.

What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)?

ACEs are stressful or traumatic events that occur in childhood, especially when they’re met with little support or safety. These include:

  • Emotional neglect or verbal abuse

  • Physical, sexual, or psychological abuse

  • Losing a caregiver to addiction, incarceration, or mental illness

  • Witnessing domestic violence or chaos in the home

  • Growing up in poverty, instability, or unsafe environments

  • Being made to feel like your emotions, needs, or boundaries didn’t matter

You may have heard of the original ACEs study, a landmark public health study that showed a strong link between childhood adversity and long-term health outcomes, including chronic illness, anxiety, depression, addiction, and even early mortality.

But what the study didn’t measure and what trauma therapy makes space for, is the quiet, complex pain of being emotionally alone when you needed support most.

The Long-Term Impacts of ACEs

You may not remember every detail. Or you may feel like “others had it worse.” But the body keeps the score, even when the mind tries to move on.

Here’s how ACEs often show up later in life:

Emotional Impacts

  • Chronic anxiety, depression, or irritability

  • Emotional numbness or a sense of being disconnected

  • Deep-rooted shame or fear of rejection

Nervous System & Physical Symptoms

  • Fatigue, muscle tension, or chronic pain

  • Digestive issues or sleep disturbances

  • Feeling “on edge” or frequently shut down

Relational & Internal Patterns

  • People-pleasing, hyper-independence, or emotional avoidance

  • Fear of intimacy, difficulty trusting others

  • Struggles with boundaries or self-worth

These aren’t personality flaws. They’re adaptations, brilliant, protective responses from a nervous system that did what it had to do to survive.



What Trauma Therapy Can Offer

Healing from ACEs doesn’t mean forgetting the past. It means creating the conditions in the present where your system can soften, your emotions can be held, and your relationships, especially the one with yourself, can begin to change.

At Tidal Trauma Centre, our therapists use a variety of evidence-based, trauma-informed approaches:

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain reprocess distressing memories, reducing their emotional charge and helping you feel less stuck.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) works with your internal “parts”, including those that protect you through shutdown, overfunctioning, or people-pleasing and helps you connect with a grounded, compassionate Self.

Somatic Therapy supports you in noticing, understanding, and slowly shifting physical responses like tension, freeze, or dissociation. It helps you return to your body without force.

Emotion-Focused & Attachment-Based Therapies create a space to rebuild emotional capacity and relational trust, especially when early caregivers were unreliable, critical, or absent.

No two people experience trauma the same way. Our therapists work with your nervous system, not against it. We pace the process collaboratively, so you never feel pushed, rushed, or unprepared.

What to Expect in a Session

Each session is different. Depending on your needs, therapy may include:

  • Exploring present-day struggles with a trauma-informed lens

  • Tracking how your nervous system reacts in real time

  • Working with protective parts (like inner critics or shutdown responses)

  • Using EMDR, somatic tools, or regulation techniques

  • Practicing boundaries, self-trust, and emotional expression

  • Moving at a pace that feels steady, respectful, and attuned

Whether online or in person, sessions are always collaborative. You lead the process, we support your capacity to stay connected while exploring hard things.

You Were Never Meant to Carry This Alone

What happened wasn’t your fault. But healing? That’s your birthright.
You don’t have to wait until things are worse. You don’t have to be “ready.” You just have to be willing to take one small step.

Fill out a New Client Form to be matched with one or more of our trauma-informed counsellors. Or, if you're ready, book a free consult or appointment to explore what support could look like.

  • Not at all. Trauma therapy doesn’t rely on full memory. EMDR, somatic therapy, and IFS can work with feelings, body sensations, and emotional themes, even when the story is unclear.

  • If something in your system is still hurting, it matters. Therapy isn’t about comparison. It’s about validating your experience and helping you feel more at home in yourself.

  • Yes. Online sessions allow many clients to feel more relaxed and grounded, especially when beginning trauma work. We offer secure virtual sessions across British Columbia.

Disclaimer: The content on this website is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical, psychological, or mental health advice. It is not a substitute for professional care. Always consult a qualified healthcare provider for diagnosis and treatment.
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Understanding Trauma: What It Is, How It Shows Up, and What Helps

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