IFS and the Inner Critic: Anxiety’s Protective Edge
Most people assume their inner critic is the enemy. It’s harsh. It’s exhausting. And it seems to get louder the more anxious you feel.
But what if this inner voice wasn’t just cruel or self-sabotaging? What if it was trying to protect you?
At Tidal Trauma Centre, we use Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy to help clients understand and transform their inner critics.
What seems like judgment is often a fear-based part trying to prevent shame, rejection, or emotional pain.
What Is the Inner Critic?
The inner critic is an internal part that constantly evaluates, compares, or attacks. It might say:
“You’re not good enough.”
“You’ll mess this up.”
“Everyone’s going to see through you.”
Though painful, this voice usually has a function: to protect you from failure, embarrassment, or vulnerability.
Why Anxiety and the Inner Critic Often Go Hand-in-Hand
Anxiety is often a signal that something feels unsafe.
The inner critic responds by trying to control the situation—by making you smaller, quieter, or more “perfect.”
It’s a survival tactic. The logic goes:
If I criticize you first, maybe others won’t.
But this protective strategy, while well-intentioned, ends up increasing stress, fueling shame, and eroding confidence.
Learn more about anxiety therapy in Surrey.
IFS Therapy: A New Way to Relate to the Inner Critic
IFS therapy invites you to meet your inner critic with curiosity, not combat. Instead of trying to silence it, we ask:
What is this part afraid would happen if it stopped criticizing?
When did it first take on this role?
What is it trying to protect?
Through this process, we discover that the critic is not inherently cruel—it’s scared.
It’s trying to prevent past pain from happening again.
The Protective Logic of the Critic
Your critic may have formed in childhood, in response to:
Being shamed for mistakes
Emotional neglect or unpredictability
High achievement environments
Social rejection or bullying
It believed: If I stay one step ahead of judgment, maybe I’ll be safe.
In IFS therapy, we help this part relax into a new role—one where its vigilance can shift to discernment, guidance, or even creativity.
How We Help You Work with This Part
At Tidal Trauma Centre, we combine IFS with anxiety therapy, EMDR, [AEDP], and somatic therapy to help clients regulate anxiety, soften the critic, and reconnect with their inner Self.
In this work, we:
Identify the critic’s origin and protective function
Support the underlying fear or vulnerable part it protects
Build self-compassion as the foundation for inner change
You’re Not Weak for Having an Inner Critic
You’re not “too sensitive” or “too anxious.”
You’re likely someone who’s had to manage too much for too long, without enough emotional safety.
Your critic is trying to keep you safe in the only way it knows how.
But there are better ways now.
You don’t have to be at war with yourself.
FAQs: IFS Therapy and the Inner Critic
What is IFS therapy?
IFS (Internal Family Systems) is a therapy model that sees the mind as made up of parts. It helps you build relationships with protective parts like the inner critic rather than trying to eliminate them.
Can IFS help with anxiety and self-criticism?
Yes. IFS is especially helpful for people whose anxiety is driven by harsh internal voices or conflicting inner pressures.
Do I have to “love” my inner critic to work with it?
Not at all. Just being willing to listen and understand its role is enough. Compassion often comes later.
What if my critic is tied to past trauma?
That’s common. We use integrated trauma therapies like EMDR and somatic work to support healing the roots of these patterns—not just the symptoms.
Do you offer IFS therapy online?
Yes. Our therapists provide online IFS therapy across British Columbia as well as in-person sessions at our Surrey clinic.
Ready to Change the Way You Relate to Yourself?
You don’t have to silence your critic—you just have to lead it.
Let us help you find a new way to relate to the parts of you that have worked so hard to keep you safe.
Book a session now or contact us to get started.